AFTER MARRIAGE..WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?
Updated: Jan 20, 2022
I was the single friend for years, I was alone, sinking in the dating pool, visitation battles with my son's father, living with my parents and working at dead end jobs. So, I had all of the miserable stories, I laugh now but I dealt with a lot of demons. But that didn't stop me from celebrating other people's lives, accomplishments, etc. I'm that friend you can count on to support you no matter what I'm going through because it's not always about me. When I met my husband it was a domino effect, We got engaged and married within a year, and after we married, we bought a new build home. When I got married I lost a friend whom I told I felt they were distant and all this lady could say is "You got a husband so now you're bold" like "huh" ? What does that mean? I just moved on. The next friend whom I've known for two years, while explaining I'm moving 40 min away, was asking a lot of questions; "Why so far?" "How does your son feel?" "Is your husband ok with commuting?" How are you going to commute?" Soon as I typed, "I don't have a job" she stopped texting, and at our sons 8th grade graduation she didn't say a word. Then a few months later she texts me as if nothing happened.
The final friend I lost was a friend of 8 years. Any celebrations whether her baby showers, graduating from college, job promotions, etc. I showed nothing but love. I was always proud of her and even though she did some fucked up things I never judged her because well I accept my friends the way they are. So any who, I wanted to visit her when she was free because I was moving even further from her as we're not in the same city. She made no attempts to see me. Then one day she disagreed with my post and that's when I finally heard from her after no communication for a few months. I felt disrespected but I don't do the online battles with friends so I messaged her. When I tell you I couldn't recognize who I was typing to as if I never knew her. I expressed my post meant no harm but she proceeded to be nasty towards me. The things she said sounded as if me getting married and being happy was me acting perfect. But at one point she was engaged, happy, had her career, so I was so confused as to what the issue really was. So you see, these are the friends I didn't need and as I hate to think like this, its very obvi that jealousy and envy can be spewing in your friendships. There is a such thing as healthy jealousy, the " man I sure wish that would happen for me" ! I think that's normal because we all want a happy ending, Right? I believe maybe telling my friends everything bit me in the ass, then again why hide happiness from your so-called friends? Marriage can bring out the good in people and the bad, but just don't invite your friends into your marriage. I know me sharing things on social media can bring on hatred but I didn't expect that from " friends". Don't ever feel bad for life changes and your happiness. The right people will stay or come into your life and replace people who didn't deserve your unconditional love in the first place!